When writing about feedback, I need (and want) to mention Kim Scott's Radical Candor framework.
Many people already use it as a guide to provide honest feedback with caring intentions, even if it may be somewhat harsh.
OK, but let’s start from the beginning and give a proper introduction.
Kim Scott, who strongly believes that all life issues can be addressed using 2x2 axes, introduced the Radical Candor concept. One axis is Care Personally, while the other is Challenging Directly. She identified these axes from her observations of how past (and in some cases, current) generations were brought up. We were often told to “be professional” or “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The first saying became an antidote for caring for others, and the second effectively silenced us.
That sounds harsh, but those words continue to affect us, preventing us from having caring yet candid conversations.
Let’s look at how those axes work together.
Firstly, as per Kim, I want to clarify the meanings of Caring Personally and Challenging Directly.
Care Personally involves showing genuine interest in people as individuals. Getting to know them on a personal level, understanding their goals, aspirations, and who they really are.
Challenging Directly is about providing clear, concise and direct feedback on issues without sugarcoating or being overly aggressive.
By the way, if someone came to you with words that they have some radical candor to share with you, they are already off to a bad start. 😅
When we combine those two axes, we get four quadrants. Let’s unpack it, together with an example of how the same feedback scenario might be expressed.
Obnoxious Aggression (High Challenge, Low Care)
When someone forgets that they are talking to a fellow human, without really caring how the message will land, but simply shooting feedback directly - that is Obnoxious Aggression. The focus is not on helping the other person improve but on criticising.
Obnoxious Aggression sounds like:
"Who the hell delivered this buggy code? Jimmy? Just what I thought! Jimmy, you're always messing things up. Get it together, or you're out!"
Personal opinion? NO and NO (lacking words to describe my sentiment). I am not even talking about that it sends your brain straight to fight, flight or freeze mode!
Manipulative Insincerity (Low Challenge, Low Care)
I'm not sure what is even worse: being shouted at, as in the example of Obnoxious Aggression or having someone who is neither sincere nor helpful. Feedback from this quadrant usually has selfish motives, backstabbing, passive aggression, and manipulation, as already stated in its name.
Manipulative Insincerity sounds like:
"Nice work on that deployment, Jimmy. I'm sure the customers will love all those new 'features' you added." (Said sarcastically, followed by gossiping about Jimmy's poor performance to other team members)
Discard feedback, remove yourself from the situation, and do something nice to shake off this experience. You don’t deserve it! No one does.
Ruinous Empathy (High Care, Low Challenge)
Many of us find ourselves in this category because we prefer not to hurt someone’s feelings. We opt for kindness over honesty. While that seems lovely, BUT sparing someone’s feelings might hinder their growth or result in unresolved issues and serious consequences. I've heard so many stories of people losing their jobs, only discovering during the final discussions that performance issues were the reason for this tough decision. A big failure on the leader's part, and I stand by my words.
Ruinous Empathy sounds like:
"Hey Jimmy, great job on that last deployment! Keep up the good work!" (Said despite knowing about the bugs and issues caused)
Don’t let your kindness be both the blessing and the curse. Consider whether you would prefer to remain unaware of what impedes your success or gain clarity on what could bring you to the next level.
Radical Candor (High Care, High Challenge)
The ideal spot that Kim Scott is promoting and trying to bring into our practices. Radical Candor occurs when you care deeply about the person and their success; based on it, you are willing to challenge them directly to help them grow. Feedback is given with respect and intent to benefit the person.
Radical Candor sounds like:
"Jimmy, I noticed that your last deployment caused several bugs that reached our customers. This has resulted in our Customer Support team working overtime. I know you can do better work, and I'd like to help. Would you be open to pair programming to fix these issues and prevent them in the future?"
Doesn't that sound better? We need more of this type of feedback in our lives, and I urge you to be honest and not deprive someone of a chance to learn or grow.
The Radical Candor framework should be used as a compass to see where you or your feedback lands. If someone got very upset, you might have forgotten to show that you care. Perhaps someone did not react or brush off your feedback; it might be a sign that you need to be more forthcoming with your feedback, meaning to be more direct.
Next time you give feedback - have the Radical Candor framework in mind. Try to identify where your feedback falls and how you can bring more candid conversations that build trust and fuel growth.
Before I wrap up, I recommend reading my article about the norms of giving and receiving corrective (or negative) feedback across various countries. The article will bring up an additional perspective to consider while trying to apply the Radical Candor approach.
Want to learn more about it? Let's talk!
Comments